When we get married, we expect that everything good in our lives will get better, and that being married will make the bad things disappear. Since our behaviors in marriage are fueled by our (often false!) beliefs about marriage, it’s important to shed light on unrealistic expectations and myths surrounding it. One of the greatest and most common myths we tend to believe (but don’t often express) when entering marriage is that we’ll somehow be completed or made whole by our husband or wife. As romantic as that concept sounds, it’s simply not true–and resting all your hope for happiness…
My wife and I express our feelings in different ways. We get tangled in them. Can you help? If you’ve found that you and your spouse have regular misunderstandings, you’re not alone! We’ve seen time and again, over years of research, that men and women simply do not communicate in the same ways. For many couples, it’s too easy to get “tangled up” in a web of miscommunication. In today’s video, we address some of the challenges that married couples face when it comes to expressing themselves clearly and effectively. Our ability to put feelings into words largely depends on…
So much about healthy relationships boils down to the attitudes that we bring to the table, and our attitudes are a direct outflow of the condition of our hearts. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Guarding your heart looks like resisting negative deposits like anger, resentment, and dishonesty, and inviting positive inputs like kindness, sacrifice, commitment, and unwavering love for your spouse. It’s filling yourself up with the word of God, surrounding yourself with wise friendships, and standing against what culture says is the standard of marriage. A LITTLE…
Giving thanks for and with your spouse is one of the most significant habits you can build into your marriage. Gratitude is an essential ingredient in any relationship, but it takes intentionality and time to put it into practice. Being grateful can become a way of being, and that carries immense power to sustain and enhance a relationship when authentic. Gratitude illuminates the good gifts we’ve been given–both by our spouse and by God. When we come into marriage each day with thanksgiving, choosing together to see abundance rather than scarcity, relational satisfaction rises. Here are a few specific ways…
5 Ways to Tell if Your Marriage is Toxic, and What to Do It’s fairly easy to identify toxic relationships when they involve overt, obvious forms of abuse, like physical and verbal abuse or infidelity. But what do you do if you know that something is wrong in your marriage, but just can’t put your finger on what it is? Toxic relationships are not necessarily lost causes; in many cases, with appropriate therapy, bad behavior patterns can be corrected in order for a healthy marriage to thrive. It takes time and effort, but it is absolutely possible. Today we’ll share…
Can you pinpoint the most essential parts of good communication for us? Communication breakdowns are one of the biggest sources of conflict in marriage relationships. Often, these issues come as a result of a misunderstanding between spouses. What most people don’t realize, though, is that misunderstandings are most likely to happen when a husband or wife doesn’t feel emotionally safe. Emotional safety comes when spouses feel that they don’t have to edit their words or walk on eggshells around one another in order to convey their messages. When husbands and wives feel that they understand one another and can likewise…
There is no shortage of marriage advice out there. Oftentimes, shared wisdom can help us to avoid making common mistakes and propel us into better relationships. However, for as much great advice that exists, there is an equal share to ignore. Let’s take a look at some common pieces of bad marriage advice that you may get and how to avoid following them. Do whatever makes you happy. There is no greater sacrificial relationship than marriage, and there will be plenty of times that sacrifice looks quite opposite to what makes you happy. On top of that, “happiness” can be…
How Do We Find Time as a Couple When We are So Busy with the Activities Our Kids are Involved in? One of the biggest struggles most married couples with children face is finding time to spend together one-on-one. It can be very difficult for parents to set aside “husband and wife” time because the everyday demands of having jobs, children, and chores can make you feel like you simply have no extra time for anything else. You are likely overwhelmed these days, but the best gift you could ever give your children is the reassurance that their mom and…
You’re in the heat of battle. Your spouse has morphed into a nearly unrecognizable person, and you’re running defense in the worst way possible. What started out as a small disagreement has exploded into a full-scale BIG FIGHT. How did it get to this point? More importantly, how are you going to get out of it without causing major damage to your relationship? Hit the brakes. If your fight is spiraling quickly out of control, it’s time to take a breather. It’s up to you how long you take to cool down, but do whatever it takes to stop the…
The littlest things set off my guilt alarm and I know this affects my marriage. Can you help? “I could’ve done this.” “I should’ve done that.” “If I could do it over, I would’ve done this.” How many times have you spoken to yourself this way? Do you ruminate often about things you probably shouldn’t worry about? Do you have a constant wave of regret and second-guessing that leads to an unhealthy self-perception? These thought patterns can easily become addictive and toxic if you allow yourself to settle in them. Did you know that loading yourself down with unreasonable guilt…