So you’re married to a sports nut. The good news is, you’re not alone.
Let’s say your spouse is deeply immersed in sports. Maybe you feel like you lose them every spring when baseball season kicks off. Or they might hyper focus on one sport after another throughout the year.
If you’re not particularly interested in sports, having a sports nut spouse can leave you feeling lonely from time to time. We’re sharing some ways you can reframe their obsession, as well as some tips for taking back some of that couples time you value so much. Let’s jump in!
It’s Not Just About the Sport
Many sports fanatics are attached to their games not because of the games themselves, but because of the community that surrounds them. It’s fulfilling, cathartic, and fun to be part of a social group that loves a shared activity.
Sports fans gravitate toward experiences that help them feel connected with others who share their enthusiasm. Games, events, and matches are just as much about the social interaction as they are about the games themselves. Fully understanding this context can help you reframe how you feel about your spouse’s love for sports.
Since it’s important for couples to prioritize shared activities, consider making yourself part of the community your spouse enjoys. Even if you don’t love the sport itself, being there and sharing that part of their interest is a way to bond and strengthen your relationship. In return, you can ask them to share some of your interests, too.
Your Support Means Everything
Supporting your spouse’s interests is a wonderful way to show your love. Let them enjoy their love for sports without discouraging them or making them feel guilty. Even if you don’t engage all the time, this is a great way to give them space for things they enjoy.
If your spouse goes beyond watching a sport and actually plays, then your support means everything to them. Even though you might not be a fan of softball or basketball, for example, being on the sidelines is so important. Make an effort to cheer your spouse on and be a part of their world, regardless of how you feel about their chosen activity.
Supporting your spouse in their sport opens the door to great conversations that will come as a result of you feeling more connected to one another. They’ll be energized by your presence. What’s more, you’ll be pulled into that experience with them because you’re making the effort.
What to Do When the Sports Obsession is Extreme
Is your spouse’s interest in sports is more like an all-consuming obsession? If you’re feeling alone or neglected, a discussion might be helpful. You could try saying something like, “I know it’s soccer season, but I’m really missing you lately and I could use a time-out from sports. I’d love some focused attention from you.”
Then, express what you’d like to experience. You might want to plan a date night away from the television or go to the theatre instead of the stadium. Creating a break in the pattern from time to time can help to rebalance your relationship, even in the midst of a busy sports season. Be open to negotiation; your spouse will likely have some priority events they don’t want to miss, so work around those when you can.
If you’re ready to spend more meaningful time together in the midst of a busy sports season, a relationship assessment could be just what you need. The Better Love assessment takes a deep dive into your individual personalities, drills down your natural love languages, and creates a Better Love + The 5 Love Languages® report tailored to your relationship. You’ll receive insights and action steps you can put to use right away to improve your relationship, on your time. Take the assessment here.
Is your spouse a sports nut? Are you? How do you prioritize your marriage, even when a sporting season is in full swing? Share your experiences in the comments.
ORRRRR . . . the sports nut spouse could actually prioritize their time when it comes to sports/hobbies/obsessions and be a good human and focus on their family/spouse/home. You know, instead of the ignored spouse (let’s face it, it’s normally women), having to ASK for attention or ignoring their likes/dislikes and still doing the sports thing to support their spouse (even though they hate sports), or cheering their spouse on if they’re playing. It reminds me of Sex in the City where Steve asks Miranda to support him in this half court shot he has to take while he practices and practices. She tries explaining that she’s tired, she’s overworked, the baby is a lot, etc. And he gets all hurt that she doesn’t support his newest ambition. I got so mad at that episode. She is busy holding down the fort, making sure their family is taken care of, bringing home a check, generally being superwoman, and Steve is off in the corner pouting because she doesn’t become ecstatic with their new obsession he has. Why do we as women have to dumb ourselves down to be palatable to our spouses? Personally if my husband was a sports nut, I’d be like, “See you later, have a good game” and revel in the quiet house for a few hours.