Many people feel uncertain about the idea of marriage. If you’ve experienced pain in past relationships or even observed divorce in your family, it’s normal to be unsure if you ever want to get married at all.
But let’s say you’re dating someone or thinking about getting engaged. How can you approach the idea of marriage with a fresh perspective? In today’s post, we’ll discuss why a person might feel skeptical about getting married and offer our thoughts on how to shift your thinking.
Past Experiences and Observations Inform Our Outlook on Marriage
Considering how your background might have affected your view of marriage is essential. For instance, were your parents unhappily married or divorced? Circumstances in your immediate family during childhood can impact your perspective on getting married.
Was there a history of divorce in your extended family? Maybe it’s uncommon for couples in your family to stay together long-term. You might have grown up with the impression that marriages don’t last, making you skeptical of your chances at success.
Suppose your story includes painful memories related to marriage that create fear. Even if you didn’t observe divorce in your family, you might have seen it among friends. Or, you might have even been in a prior marriage that ended in divorce.
Healthy Marriages Create Stability
You may have witnessed a lot of instability because of unhealthy marriages around you. Without an example of a healthy marriage, this is enough to make anyone afraid of getting married. However, when a marriage is healthy, it creates stability for both spouses and any children who might come into the world later.
Consider that forging a healthy marriage for yourself could create stability you didn’t have the chance to experience. Building something that brings more peace to your life rather than chaos is possible with the right partner. To do that, though, you’ll need experienced guidance and a solid foundation.
Enlist Trusted Marriage Mentors
Marriage mentors can help you strengthen your trust in the institution of marriage. They are couples who have been married for some time and can provide trusted advice to you and your partner. Forging relationships with healthy married couples could help shift your perspective around marriage.
Mentors are crucial not just for the months or years leading up to marriage. They’re also an asset throughout your relationship. Whether you’re working through conflict or just need wise counsel on everyday decisions, your mentors can be a listening ear and a lasting example of what marriage can be.
Attending pre-marriage counseling can also help you gain confidence in your relationship and future together. Working with a SYMBIS facilitator, who can also help you navigate the SYMBIS Assessment (and its companion book), will give you the knowledge and tools you need to get started on the right foot. Learn more here.
Did you ever feel skeptical about getting married? What changed your mind? How have you helped others see the value of marriage? Leave us a comment and let us know.
