Throughout our lives, we’ll have friends who are of both the same and opposite gender. This is a natural part of life. For some individuals, though, the thought of their spouse having close, opposite-sex friends can be a bit unnerving. Does this sound familiar to you? It’s true that there are occasions when opposite-sex friendships are not appropriate in tandem with your marriage. In general, friendships come and go throughout our lives. But the question about your spouse’s opposite-sex friendship might not be so much about gender itself, but more about whether you and your marriage are being honored. Just…
Gratitude is a spirit that’s front and center for many people during the Christmas season. However, this time of year can also be hectic. In the midst of the holiday bustle, it can be easy to lose sight of what we’re thankful for. As we approach this year’s Christmas celebration, we’ve listed five ways you can celebrate with thankfulness in your heart. We hope these ideas inspire you! 1. Embrace childlike wonder. There’s truly magic and wonder in the Christmas season when we take time to embrace childlike joy. So often, adults “grow out” of experiencing true gratitude during Christmas…
Are you worried about marrying someone like one of your parents? It’s common for people to fear partnering with someone like their mom or dad, particularly if that relationship was strained or difficult growing up. If that’s your worry, then what steps can you take to ensure you are marrying a person who is a good fit for you? Wanting to avoid marrying someone who reminds you of a parent is not unusual. But it pays to put things in perspective and get clear on what you really want in a spouse, and in a relationship. Consider What Qualities You’re…
“If I could just find the right person to marry, then my life would be complete.” Does that sound familiar to you? Our society sells the idea that a marriage relationship can not only complete you as a person; it can fix your entire life. It’s a fallacy that runs deep and is woven into the fabric of our culture. By chasing the idea of wholeness through relationships, we neglect to establish a whole relationship with ourselves first. And the problem is, when we don’t learn to embrace our complete selves, we spend our lives chasing wholeness through our relationships…
In marriage as in life, our personalities come through in our behaviors. By observing how someone behaves, we can get a fairly accurate idea of what their personality is like. Our behaviors are particularly revealing in marriage, when we spend a lot of time together, one-on-one. What’s interesting, though, is that spouses don’t always accurately perceive one another’s personalities, despite the amount of time they spend with each other. Much of our personality plays itself out internally, in ways our spouse will never see. That’s why relationship assessments such as SYMBIS are so incredibly useful in counseling couples. SYMBIS results…
As a professional who counsels couples, you have likely seen the positive effects self-awareness has on relationships. You also understand the pitfalls of couples who are unaware of how they relate to each other, and how they operate as individuals. Often, spouses who are wounded will perpetuate a cycle of hurt, seemingly unable to take an objective view of the situation. For engaged and married couples, becoming more self-aware leads to a better relationship outcome. That’s because self-awareness cultivates deeper empathy. Let’s dig a little deeper into why this is so important. Marriage Assessments Cultivate Self-Awareness Self-awareness gives couples the…
Modern marriages typically begin with a romantic relationship. Unlike marriages of the past, which were often arranged for political purposes or financial stability, marriages in the Twenty-First Century revolve around the initial rush a couple experiences while falling in love. Unfortunately, as so many licensed counselors and therapists already know, romance isn’t enough to sustain a marriage. There are many factors at play in a successful marriage besides romance, but today’s engaged and married couples may not understand how prominent those factors are. As the butterflies of engagement and early marriage give way to broken expectations and disillusionment, couples often…
There are many reasons why you and your spouse might want to raise your income. Maybe you’ve recently taken on a new expense, suffered a pay cut or job loss, or you need to save toward a big goal, such as a vacation or a down payment on a house. Whatever the case, you’ve determined that you need more available money. Luckily, there are a number of ways to free up extra money and raise the amount you’re bringing in. It takes teamwork and shared goals, but the two of you can absolutely work together to make more money for…
Gifting one another with regular affirmations is a wonderful way for spouses to stay close and remind each other of their affection. If you’re not regularly making an effort to affirm your spouse, then it’s time to start now–and it’s never too late. Affirmations can be simple. The key is to be heartfelt and genuine, and to let your spouse know how much you love and admire them. How well you love your spouse, and the effort you invest in them, will make a tremendous impact on the quality of your marriage. Today, we’ve gathered five simple affirmations to help…
Strengthening your marriage is a goal you and your spouse must focus on for the entirety of your relationship. Over time, making your marriage stronger will take different forms. Your needs as a couple will shift from one season to the next, and many of those needs will be based on your individual personalities and the way you interact with one another. There’s no one-size-fits-all secret to building a strong marriage. The ingredients to success really depend on you, your spouse, and how you approach life as individuals and as a couple. But, that means you must both invest time…