Category

Conflict

6 Issues That Can Sabotage Any Marriage (and How to Fix Them)

By Conflict, Marriage 4 Comments

Looking to prevent problems in your marriage before they begin? There are six major–but subtle–marriage saboteurs you should be on the lookout for. Let’s take a look at what they are, and how to fix them. 1. Having too many obligations. Life is busy–we get it. But staying too busy can actually sabotage your marriage. When you and your spouse are so consumed with day-to-day obligation, it can be easy for those obligations to crowd your intimacy out. How to fix it: You can’t put a marriage on autopilot. It takes daily commitment to keep that spark alive. Be intentional…

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The Ultimate Conflict Resolution Roundup

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

Looking for resources to help you and your spouse with conflict resolution? You’ve come to the right place. We’ve created a roundup of our top posts to help you and your partner navigate conflict. Let’s dive in. Problem Solving Working through problems together is one of the most important things a couple will learn to do over the course of marriage. Here are some tips for solving problems constructively. 4 Tips For Constructively Resolving Conflict With Your Spouse Locked in a disagreement? Not sure what to do next? Here are 4 tips for helping you and your spouse resolve conflict….

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Does Brutal Honesty Have a Place in Marriage?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 6 Comments

Do you pride yourself on being “brutally honest”? Many of us do, but should it really be a point of pride in marriage? While the old adage “the truth hurts” can be true, we should do our best to avoid being honest in a hurtful way. But oftentimes, we find ourselves in situations where we may try to justify harshness as a way to sway our spouses one way or the other. The Bible is full of wisdom on how we should treat one another. While we should absolutely be honest with our spouses, scripture also teaches us to be…

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Help! My Spouse Gets Controlling When We Disagree

By Conflict 4 Comments

Does this scenario sound familiar? Most of the time, you and your spouse tend to have a peaceful relationship…until you get into a disagreement. And during those times, you feel like you barely recognize them. So what is going on? It’s possible that your spouse actually has a control problem–maybe even one they keep well-hidden until their buttons get pushed. But how is that possible? Control freaks aren’t always controllers in every scenario. Sometimes, the controlling qualities come out in certain circumstances. Having a fight can bring out the worst in anyone, but it tends to ignite the control freak…

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3 Ways to Calm an Argument with Your Spouse

By Communication, Conflict 4 Comments

There aren’t many things that are worse than getting in an argument with your spouse that just keeps escalating. No matter what either of you try to do, you seem to be at a stalemate. Or worse, things are starting to get a little ugly. Luckily, there are several ways you can defuse heated conflict with your spouse. Doing so will give you both the opportunity to step back, regroup, and come back to the discussion with a fresh perspective. Let’s dive in. 1. Slow your response time. Many of us struggle with the impulse to jump right in and…

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3 Truths About Anger Everyone Should Know

By Conflict, Relationships 10 Comments

Anger is a natural part of being human, but it can also become destructive when uncontrolled. Likewise, anger is a natural part of conflict. It’s important that we understand how to manage anger so that we can effectively manage conflicts in our marriages and other interpersonal relationships. Anger tends to be the result of a perceived injustice against us. When improperly processed and communicated, anger can damage relationships–sometimes irreversibly. Uncontrolled anger can muddy the waters of a good fight and prevent us from getting to the core of the issue at hand. Let’s look at a few truths about anger…

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Passive vs. Aggressive Problem Solvers: Which One Are You?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection One Comment

Do you tackle problems head-on with a burning desire to resolve them as quickly as possible? Or would you rather take your time processing a conflict before you speak up about it? As a step toward constructive problem-solving, it’s important to identify whether you solve problems in a passive or aggressive manner. The type of problem solver you are can easily damage the sense of emotional safety in your marriage, so it’s important for you both to get familiar with your problem-solving style–and then compare notes. The Passive Problem Solver People who prefer to deal with issues passively are content…

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4 Tips for Constructively Resolving Conflict with Your Spouse

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 2 Comments

In last week’s blog post, we discussed five reasons why you shouldn’t wait to resolve a conflict with your spouse. It’s vital to build a relationship based on open communication and trust; allowing conflicts to go on for long periods of time damages both. The good news is, there are many useful strategies and tools available that can help you and your spouse constructively resolve conflict. In our book, The Good Fight, we lay out some ground rules in chapter 5, “Rules for Fight Club”. Today, we want to share a quick overview of these core rules to give you…

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5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Wait to Resolve a Conflict with Your Spouse

By Conflict, Marriage 9 Comments

Every married couple experiences conflict in their marriage from time to time. None of us want to face difficult situations with our spouse, but conflict and disagreements are part of life. Because many of us would prefer to avoid conflict, we fall into a habit of pushing our problems further and further down the line. Whatever our reasons, it’s clear that fear plays a hand in our avoidance. The problem is, avoiding hard discussions and conflict resolution with your spouse actually makes problems worse and harder to overcome. Let’s take a look at five reasons why you shouldn’t wait to…

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10 Ways to Let Go of Control in Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 3 Comments

Being a control freak in your marriage–or in your life, in general–means you don’t exactly make life easy for your spouse. That probably seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? We control because we want to make life feel easier, more predictable, or more secure. But it actually makes the people around us miserable–and it makes us miserable, too. In last week’s post, we discussed the root of most controlling behavior–anxiety–and shared 6 signs that you might be a control freak. This week, we’re going to talk about 10 things you can do about it. 1. Learn how to delegate. Delegating is tough…

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