Imagine that you come home from work, and the garbage can is full. Your spouse is milling around the kitchen, slamming drawers and pot lids. As you attempt to wind down from the work day, you can’t help but notice that they’re really making a lot of noise. So, you head into the kitchen to find out what’s going on. “Honey, are you all right?” “I’m fine,” they say…but the dishes keep rattling. You’re distinctly aware that something isn’t right, but you can’t put your finger on what, exactly, it is. And if they won’t tell you what’s happening, how…
Have you ever damaged or broken your spouse’s trust in you? Earning that trust back takes hard work and patience on both your parts. The good news is, in many situations, it’s possible to earn their trust again. First, you’re probably already aware that your actions have had a grievous impact on your spouse and their sense of wellbeing. Second, we understand that it’s painful to learn you’ve hurt the person you love most. This may be one of the most painful situations you ever walk through together. Easing back into a trusting relationship with your spouse takes commitment, time,…
Criticism is toxic to happy marriages, poisoning happiness and sabotaging your growth as a couple. A critical nature kills intimacy and causes the victim to build walls around themselves in an attempt to ward off future criticism. Worse, criticism can cripple your personal growth and your emotional health. When your spouse criticizes you, it hurts. Being picked apart and scrutinized by anyone is hurtful, but when it’s your husband or wife, it’s worse. Not only is criticism demoralizing, it lacks the appreciation and regard we want to feel from our spouse. If you have a servant heart, spousal criticism will…
Resentment is an insidious force that creeps into marriages and cripples them. It’s important to rid your marriage of any resentment that might exist, choosing instead to focus on your love for one another. But sometimes, resentment roots into your attitude toward your spouse anyway, and it takes work to weed it out again. If you feel that you resent your spouse, here are a few ways to hit the reset button. 1. Check in with your hard feelings. How long have your hard feelings been festering? Are you feeling resentful about something that happened long ago, or something more…
Dishonesty destroys relationships–and not always immediately. Sometimes, a spouse’s past lies can stick with us, doing continual damage over the course of time. If your spouse lied to you in the past and it is still bothering you, there may be several reasons why it’s nagging at you – and ways you can work towards healing. Shattered Expectations When your spouse lies, particularly if they haven’t lied to you before, this experience shatters the expectations you’ve set for your marriage. Married couples aren’t meant to lie to one another. Honesty is foundational to a happy and healthy marriage, so it…
It’s common for married couples to have high expectations of one another. But, it’s also common for those expectations to be unmet. Unmet expectations can result in anger, sadness, and resentment, all of which put a strain on your marriage. In order to overcome unmet expectations and conflicts that emerge over the course of your relationship, you and your spouse must be both resilient and willing to extend forgiveness. Forgiveness is an essential part of all healthy relationships, and resilience helps us bounce back from hard times. In order to come back from conflict stronger than before, forgiveness is an…
Are you a perfectionist? Is your spouse? Although perfectionists tend to pride themselves on their meticulousness and attention to detail, those of us who experience perfectionism often find that the people around us don’t necessarily uphold our ideals. And in a marriage, perfectionistic tendencies can create major strain. Today, we’re breaking down a few reasons why it’s time to let go of perfectionism in your marriage. Let’s dive right in. 1. Perfectionism triggers unnecessary stress. Expecting perfection in one or more areas of life and marriage sets us up for unnecessary stress. Stress, in turn, can negatively impact our health….
Every married couple must overcome problems over the course of their relationship. Obstacles are part of life. Everyone faces them, but couples have the privilege of facing them together. Today, we’re breaking down five everyday marriage problems most couples will encounter at sometime in their relationship. Let’s take a look! 1. Not making time for each other. Time is a valuable commodity. You must make time for one another if you want a happy marriage. However, it’s easy to get bogged down by careers, kids, and all-around busy schedules. The direct result of being too busy is losing valuable time…
Playing the blame game is an unhealthy and damaging way for couples to approach problem solving. Rather than resolving conflicts, blame and finger-pointing actually make them worse. If you’re trying to build or maintain a healthy, intimate marriage, you’ll want to avoid blaming each other for problems in your life. Let’s look at a few reasons why blame is so toxic to our marriages. 1. Blame doesn’t listen. When you blame one another for a problem you’re facing–big or small–you are actively choosing not to listen to your spouse’s side of the story. This hurts your ability to be empathic…
Looking to prevent problems in your marriage before they begin? There are six major–but subtle–marriage saboteurs you should be on the lookout for. Let’s take a look at what they are, and how to fix them. 1. Having too many obligations. Life is busy–we get it. But staying too busy can actually sabotage your marriage. When you and your spouse are so consumed with day-to-day obligation, it can be easy for those obligations to crowd your intimacy out. How to fix it: You can’t put a marriage on autopilot. It takes daily commitment to keep that spark alive. Be intentional…