Category

Conflict

Nov 23
Love0

Unfinished Business: Getting Closure for Old Hurts

By Conflict 2 Comments

Having unresolved conflict in your relationships–especially in your marriage–creates tension that weighs on both you and your spouse. It distracts you and eventually creates resentment, further breaking down your relationship. We like to think of this kind of conflict as unfinished business. Unfinished business involves issues you and your spouse have never been able to fully work through. If one of you is holding onto old hurts, it’s likely you’ve never felt like those have had a chance to heal. This can happen for many reasons, and the longer hard feelings simmer, the more difficult they will be to resolve….

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Nov 09
Love0

I Resent My Spouse. How Do I Overcome It?

By Conflict 3 Comments

Resentment damages marriages. It can take time for resentment to build in a relationship. Often, you don’t know it’s happening until it has already taken root. By then, those resentful feelings have invaded many areas of your marriage. Resentment comes from longstanding anger and feelings of disappointment in aspects of your relationship. When you feel upset at your spouse on a regular basis but feel that you can’t do anything to alleviate the problem, you begin to internalize that anger. Eventually, it morphs into resentment. Later, it could transform into contempt toward your partner. There are many reasons why you…

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Oct 26
Love0
Couple having political discussion

Political Clash: What to Do When Your Spouse Has Different Views

By Conflict One Comment

Spouses should agree on politics…right? Politics are hot-button topics for many relationships, and marriages are no exception. Even some of the closest couples disagree on politics. Does this sound familiar to you? When you and your spouse are each entrenched in your own political point of view, it’s going to be challenging to see eye-to-eye. If you’re deeply invested in your opinion, you’re likely to have scripts that you automatically follow, too. You have talking points of your own–and you likely anticipate your spouse’s. All in all, reaching an understanding in the midst of a political clash is tough. The…

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Oct 12
Love0
Couple tracking money together

How to Stress Less About Money in Your Marriage

By Conflict, Marriage 2 Comments

Money is one of the most common topics married couples fight about. If managing money is stressful for you, then it can take a toll on your relationship. Since you can’t escape financial discussions, how can you handle the topic without getting grouchy or arguing? Luckily, there are ways to make money conversations less stressful and more productive for both of you. In this post, we’re sharing some tips to help you and your spouse handle money talks in a healthier way. Consider how you both feel about money. It’s a good idea to take a step back and think…

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Oct 05
Love0

When Conflict Gets Messy in Marriage

By Conflict One Comment

“Coming together is the beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” – Henry Ford We often talk about how fighting a “good fight” can actually bring spouses closer together. A well-managed conflict can shed light on areas of your relationship that need strengthening. It also gives the two of you a chance to solve problems as a team. But sometimes, conflict gets messy. We might fail to listen to our spouse, say hurtful things, or otherwise escalate a solvable issue. When this happens, you both need to know how to take a step back, then take steps to…

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Mar 23
Love1

Is It Okay to Take a Break During a Fight?

By Conflict 3 Comments

The idea of resolving a disagreement or ending a fight as quickly as possible is a popular one, particularly in marriage. But what if the fight lasts a long time? Is it okay to take a break when that happens, or do you have to push through? When you’re in the midst of an argument with your spouse, it feels highly uncomfortable. It’s natural that you’d want to resolve the disagreement and get back to normal as soon as you can. But sometimes, it takes longer than you’d expect to resolve a challenging issue. And sometimes, that means you’ll need…

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Feb 02
Love0

Help! My Spouse Always Sides With My In-Laws. What Can I Do?

By Conflict, In-laws & Family 2 Comments

In most marriages, it’s common to have an occasional clash with in-laws or other extended family members. After all, we’re all human, and it’s inevitable that we will disagree with one another from time to time. But what if these clashes are happening on a regular basis, and your spouse always seems to be on your in-laws’ side? What do you do then? Some relationships naturally have more friction than others, and that can add unnecessary stress to your dynamic over the years. It can also be taxing on your marriage, especially if your spouse defaults to taking his or…

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Nov 24
Love0

Is Fighting Allowed In A Christian Marriage?

By Conflict One Comment

Many Christian couples are highly uncomfortable with the idea of disagreeing with one another, much less fighting outright. For many people in the church, the idea of conflict in their marriages is crippling. A common question we’ve been asked is, is fighting allowed in a Christian marriage? The truth is, getting into disagreements and arguments is a common challenge every couple faces. While it’s not inherently wrong to fight, it’s how you fight that dictates whether you’ll be able to solve the problem at hand. So fighting, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily wrong in a Christian marriage; it’s whether…

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Oct 27
Love0

3 Strategies For Successfully Managing Anger in Marriage

By Conflict 2 Comments

Marriage typically tends to produce more anger than other relationships. Perhaps this is because spending so much time with another person naturally generates more opportunities to become angry. We also put down our guard with our spouse — the person we love most. While being vulnerable and unguarded allows for greater intimacy, it also opens the door to more anger and frustration. Although every married couple will experience anger toward one another, it should still be kept in check. After all, how we manage our emotions directly affects our relationships, particularly the closest ones. Add disappointment, unmet expectations, and other…

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Oct 20
Love0

Does Keeping Secrets Make A Marriage Unhealthy?

By Communication, Conflict 7 Comments

Does keeping secrets in marriage make it inherently unhealthy? Over our years of marriage, and our years counseling married and engaged couples, we’ve found the answer to be both nuanced and subjective. The truth is, the idea that a couple should never keep secrets sounds and feels good at the surface level–but can a marriage really handle an overflow of transparency at all times? Many of us grew up believing that there are no secrets in a healthy marriage. We come to believe that spouses should tell one another everything, no matter what–hiding no details and laying everything out in…

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