Let’s say you and your spouse have children or stepchildren together already, but you can’t agree on whether (or when) to have another. You desperately want another baby, but your spouse says they don’t. What do you do about it? A disagreement like this could easily create resentment between the two of you over time. So, it’s crucial to go ahead and get the conversation out in the open. Getting on the same page is incredibly important, especially for such a sensitive topic. If you’re feeling a major disconnect with your spouse over the desire for more children, there’s hope….
Have you ever caught your spouse in a lie? If you did, would you know how to confront them? If you’ve ever experienced this gut-wrenching scenario, you know how devastating it feels. Accepting that your spouse has been dishonest is one of the hardest things to do. Deciding how and when to confront them is equally daunting, because now your entire perception of your spouse is in question. What else have they lied about? How long have they been lying? Is this about just one issue, and if so, can we rebuild from here? If your spouse has lied to…
It’s no secret that married couples fight. Regardless of how long you and your spouse have been together, you will disagree with one another from time to time. But did you know that it’s possible for couples to fight a “good fight?” Couples often come to us to ask how to have a good fight. It seems counterproductive, doesn’t it? Shouldn’t couples aim to avoid fighting instead? Not necessarily. The truth is, working through conflict can actually make your relationship stronger. 4 Essential Components of a Healthy Fight There are several essential ingredients that couples must have to navigate disagreements…
Does your spouse make you feel bad about yourself from time to time? Feeling hurt by something your spouse has said or done is heartbreaking. You’ve tried your best to keep them happy, but they still seem to find something critical to say. Your self-esteem might have taken a blow, or you might be feeling hopeless about your situation. It’s possible for the most well-meaning spouses to hurt one another’s feelings on occasion. That’s bound to happen over the course of a long life together. But what happens when your spouse’s criticism makes you feel badly about yourself? Humans Need…
Is your spouse a control freak? Being in a relationship with a controlling person–especially a marriage–can be quite a challenge. No one knows that better than you do. Before we jump in, the first thing you need to know is that there’s hope, and it’s possible for your spouse to get a handle on their controlling tendencies. First, you need a little more insight into what factors might be driving their controlling nature. You’ll also need some tools for communicating with them. And of course, they’ll need to keep an open heart. I (Les) admit that I’m a recovering control…
Facing the pain of infidelity is one of the hardest things you may ever experience. You’re trying to come to terms with the fact that your spouse was hiding a major secret. That’s bad enough; but what if your in-laws knew about the affair? Unfortunately, many times people may know or suspect that a friend or family member is having an affair. Yet, they may not tell the innocent spouse. There are many reasons for this; maybe they don’t want to get involved, or maybe they’re afraid they’ve made a mistake. But when your family members know–especially your in-laws–that makes…
Having unresolved conflict in your relationships–especially in your marriage–creates tension that weighs on both you and your spouse. It distracts you and eventually creates resentment, further breaking down your relationship. We like to think of this kind of conflict as unfinished business. Unfinished business involves issues you and your spouse have never been able to fully work through. If one of you is holding onto old hurts, it’s likely you’ve never felt like those have had a chance to heal. This can happen for many reasons, and the longer hard feelings simmer, the more difficult they will be to resolve….
Resentment damages marriages. It can take time for resentment to build in a relationship. Often, you don’t know it’s happening until it has already taken root. By then, those resentful feelings have invaded many areas of your marriage. Resentment comes from longstanding anger and feelings of disappointment in aspects of your relationship. When you feel upset at your spouse on a regular basis but feel that you can’t do anything to alleviate the problem, you begin to internalize that anger. Eventually, it morphs into resentment. Later, it could transform into contempt toward your partner. There are many reasons why you…
Spouses should agree on politics…right? Politics are hot-button topics for many relationships, and marriages are no exception. Even some of the closest couples disagree on politics. Does this sound familiar to you? When you and your spouse are each entrenched in your own political point of view, it’s going to be challenging to see eye-to-eye. If you’re deeply invested in your opinion, you’re likely to have scripts that you automatically follow, too. You have talking points of your own–and you likely anticipate your spouse’s. All in all, reaching an understanding in the midst of a political clash is tough. The…
Money is one of the most common topics married couples fight about. If managing money is stressful for you, then it can take a toll on your relationship. Since you can’t escape financial discussions, how can you handle the topic without getting grouchy or arguing? Luckily, there are ways to make money conversations less stressful and more productive for both of you. In this post, we’re sharing some tips to help you and your spouse handle money talks in a healthier way. Consider how you both feel about money. It’s a good idea to take a step back and think…