Forgiveness and conflict resolution are crucial components of good communication. That’s true not only in marriage, but across all your relationships. To build a happy marriage with true, lifelong love, you’ll need to be able to not only solve conflicts that arise; you’ll also need to be willing to forgive one another.
In this final part of our four-part series on better communication, we’re focusing on how to lovingly resolve conflict and forgive often. Ready to learn more? Let’s jump into it.
Listen With Empathy
When working through a conflict, it’s important to listen to one another with empathy. Understanding where your spouse is coming from is half the battle, especially when emotions are running high. Now is the time to put your good listening skills to use.
Remember that you’re listening to capture your spouse’s perspective. Even if your stance on an issue doesn’t change, it helps to know where your spouse is coming from. You’ll create much better chances of reaching a resolution that works for both of you.
Ensure Emotional Safety
Want to resolve conflict and set the stage for forgiveness? Create and ensure emotional safety in all your communication, especially conflict resolution. When you and your spouse both feel safe to speak freely and be vulnerable, you’re so much closer to effective resolution.
During conflict, it’s important to create safety by remaining as calm as possible, engaging in active listening, and creating plenty of space and time for your spouse to express their feelings. Be aware of one another’s triggers and work to de-escalate when you feel angry or upset. Our book, The Good Fight, can help you navigate conflict resolution and create that safe space for each other.
Genuinely Reflect Your Spouse’s Feelings
Reflecting your spouse’s feelings is another important component of conflict resolution. This helps them to know that you truly understand their stance. When you make a genuine effort to understand and reflect how they feel, they’re more likely to stay open to solutions.
There will be times when you don’t fully understand your spouse’s feelings. But if you’re invested in getting on the same page, that will be apparent to your spouse. Then, they can clarify what they’re thinking and feeling, rather than shutting down.
Forgive Generously
Finally, forgive each other generously. To build a lasting marriage, forgiveness is an absolute must. You can’t avoid stepping on each other’s toes, but you can avoid letting hurt and resentment build. It’s crucial to let one another be human, and to be willing to extend forgiveness.
Over the years, you’ll navigate different seasons, some of which will be difficult. With strong conflict resolution skills – and a willingness to forgive and let go of past hurts – you and your spouse will be well equipped to weather the storms together. Remember the love you have for each other, and keep that front and center.
Ultimately, learning how to communicate better can lead the two of you to better love. Mastering all the most important facets of communication will serve you well not only in your marriage, but in all your relationships.
How do you and your spouse approach conflict resolution? Are you quick to forgive? Share your tips and experiences in the comments.
Do you offer your newsletters in Spanish?
Do you have a Spanish speaking Symbis facilitator in the Denver, Colorado area?
Thanks!