So your spouse made a big decision without consulting you. What should you do? Maybe it was time to purchase a new vehicle or piece of furniture. Or perhaps your spouse spent money you hadn’t discussed together beforehand. Regardless of the situation, you feel left out and hurt–and you wish they had spoken with you before they made the decision. It’s normal to feel upset when your spouse makes a significant decision without you. One of the most important things we have in marriage is the ability to be included in each other’s lives. When we feel excluded or as…
Should you wait to get engaged if you were long-time friends before dating? Maybe you’ve only been dating briefly, but you’re sure you want to marry. You might have discussed engagement with loved ones. However, perhaps they seem put off by the idea. If you’ve known one another for a long time, is there an appropriate waiting period before engagement? Give People Time to Adjust This relationship progression might seem like a long time coming to the two of you. But to friends and family, a quick engagement might feel sudden. Even though you’ve shared a long history, the time…
Is it true that when it comes to love, opposites attract? “Opposites attract” is a popular theme in movies, television, and books. Some of our favorite stories, from the classics to modern pop culture, feature romantic couples who are complete opposites. We hear and see it depicted so often, we’ve come to believe it. Actually, “opposites attract” is a common misnomer. Sometimes, it might feel as though opposites attract, but the answer to this question isn’t straightforward. There are two ways to answer it, so let’s jump right in. We’re Attracted to Shared Values First, let’s talk about shared values….
Does your spouse have unspoken rules you can’t seem to follow? Every person has their own silent rules they live by, whether they realize it or not. And by the same token, we expect others to follow our rules–especially our spouse! Each of us enters marriage with an imagined picture of what we think it should look like, and sometimes, those visions clash. So let’s say your spouse seems frustrated or disappointed often, as though you’re breaking rules you’re unaware of. How do you handle this challenge? Let’s talk about it. First, Remember Your Own Unspoken Rules Our unspoken rules…
The holidays are a wonderful time to refocus on two of the most impactful values in life: gratitude and love. No matter what’s happening in the world around us, these are key values that remind us of what’s most important. Holidays give us the opportunity to reflect and align our lives with greater love and thankfulness for everything we have. Whatever the year has brought — and no matter what the new year has in store — it’s important to focus on positive events and lessons learned. Let’s talk about some important ways we can pause and reflect on our…
So you’re spending your first Christmas together as a married couple. Congratulations! How can you make this Christmas a special event you’ll remember for years to come? Your first Christmas together is a chance to set the tone for the coming years of marriage. It also offers a wonderful opportunity for establishing new traditions and making memories you can take through the decades. Most importantly, Christmas is a time to focus on the love you have for one another and the future you’re envisioning together. We’ve gathered some tips and ideas to help you make this Christmas with your spouse…
Are snooping in-laws invading your privacy? It feels violating for family members — or any visitor in your home, for that matter — to go through your things. Maybe they’re rifling through personal papers, looking through drawers, or snooping in the medicine cabinet. Their behavior puts you in an awkward position, especially when you can’t prove it’s happening. No matter the time of year, dealing with snooping in-laws (or parents!) is challenging. But during holidays and special occasions, it’s common to host gatherings full of curious family members. So, how do you put a stop to the snooping? Confrontation Isn’t…
Do you often get stuck in the middle of family fights? It’s challenging to be pulled into a conflict of any kind, but especially when it’s family. Maybe there’s conflict between your spouse and a family member or disagreements between relatives. Your family trusts you as a mediator or voice of reason, but that might mean you play referee regularly. Getting stuck in a family fight means you feel pressured to pick sides. But when it comes to our own families, we rarely have objectivity. You love the people on both sides of the conflict, you want them to get…
Is your spouse a different person when you visit their family? Sometimes, when visiting family or old friends, we revert to a version of ourselves that no one else recognizes. It’s like regressing into a past role. If your spouse seems almost unrecognizable at holidays and family gatherings, they may be playing back a version of themselves that you’ve never seen. Do gatherings with the in-laws transform your spouse into a different person? If this sounds familiar, then this article is for you. Let’s get into it. Connect With Secret “Codes” Sometimes, holidays at the in-laws’ can leave you feeling…
Parenting should be a team effort. But what happens when your spouse undermines you–especially in front of the kids? Raising and disciplining children are important joint responsibilities you and your spouse share. As a united front, the two of you are guiding your children toward what you hope will be a productive and successful adulthood. However, sometimes couples with kids get out of sync. Maybe your spouse has a habit of undermining you in front of your children when you’re trying to offer guidance or dole out discipline. How should you respond to that? Is it possible to get back…