In today’s society, it’s not unusual to feel skeptical about the institution of marriage. That’s especially true if you grew up in a family where divorce was common. It can be easy to question the necessity of marriage, especially if you feel fearful of it.
If you’re dating or engaged, maybe your significant other wants to tie the knot – and maybe you aren’t quite ready for that step. You might find yourself questioning how necessary it is to get married. If that sounds familiar, we’re here to help.
Marriage Has Depth, Beauty, and Sacredness
It’s difficult to describe the profound depth, beauty, and sacredness of marriage. Cohabiting allows you to share physical space, but it doesn’t hold the same meaning as marriage does. Marriage is a greater commitment than simply agreeing to live together. And according to recent research from the Pew Research Center, married couples report greater overall relationship satisfaction than cohabiting couples.
Getting Married Shifts Your Relationship Dynamic
Getting married actually changes your relationship dynamic. You’re creating a legacy of permanence in your home and relationship, and if you have children prior to marriage, these positive effects will trickle down to them. Getting married doesn’t just change how the couple feels about each other; it also changes how the children feel about their parents.
If you had an unstable home life growing up, getting married can be an opportunity to give your children the stability you missed out on. When you and your fiance marry, you’re committing to each other as well as the kids. It’s a profoundly impactful promise to show up for one another in all seasons and circumstances.
How to Handle Your Fears About Marriage
It’s understandable why many people fear committing to marriage. If that sounds familiar to you, there are some things you can do to challenge your own fears. First, it’s important to ask yourself what about marriage you fear.
Are you fearful that you won’t be able to keep your commitment once you make it? Do you fear repeating the same cycles and patterns you saw in your family growing up? It’s important to examine your feelings. That’s because getting married is an opportunity to create a new legacy for your own children.
If you have other trusted married couples in your life, try talking with them about how they’ve kept their commitment to one another over the years. Ask questions and don’t be afraid to be honest about your fears. Seeking out the right support from friends and loved ones will help you as you work toward this decision together.
You Can Save Your Marriage Before It Starts
Did you know that it’s possible to safeguard your marriage before it begins? Our book, Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, will help you lay a healthy foundation for your long-term relationship. There’s also an assessment by the same name (or SYMBIS for short) that will help you and your partner get to know one another on a deeper level before you tie the knot. Find both the book and the assessment here.
Are you thinking about getting married, but unsure of your next steps? Leave us a comment and let us know.
