My Spouse Is Unhappy In Our Marriage. Is This The End?

So your spouse is unhappy in your marriage. Is this the end of your relationship?

It’s incredibly painful to learn that a spouse isn’t happy, no matter how long you’ve been married. Whether you’re newlyweds or have been together for decades, it’s heartbreaking to realize that your relationship might not be what you believed it was. Still, unhappiness–on your part, or on your spouse’s–doesn’t necessarily spell doom for your marriage.

Wondering what you can do to course-correct the path you’re on? We’ve gathered some tips to help you get started.

1. Set Aside Some Time to Talk About Your Relationship

The first thing you’ll want to do is to open a dialogue about where both of you are in the relationship right now. This isn’t a conversation you can have in an afternoon. Instead, you’ll need to expect that it will take some time.

Let your spouse know that you care about their feelings, and be willing to listen to their concerns. It will likely be a painful series of conversations. But, when you understand your spouse’s pain, you’ll have better chances of finding a solution.

Stay as calm as possible and show kindness to your spouse, even though this conversation won’t be easy. You may learn things about yourself or your spouse that you weren’t expecting to hear. If the two of you are having difficulty navigating this communication, getting help from trusted marriage mentors, a professional counselor, or a licensed therapist could be beneficial.

2. Work on Your Individual Health

Many times, we’ve said that marriage doesn’t make you happy. You make your marriage happy. In light of this situation, how do you turn things around?

If your spouse isn’t happy, there are likely some dynamics in your marriage that you can both work to correct. But that also means you both need to look inward and work on your individual health. We recommend focusing on your spiritual, physical, and psychological health. You may find that, as you both grow into healthier versions of yourself, you create new opportunities to build a healthier marriage.

Remember that you can’t control your spouse’s emotions. You can’t influence or sway their feelings. But, you can work on becoming the best version of yourself, and then bring that into your relationship. Each day, ask yourself what one thing you can do to make yourself a better spouse, and then do that.

3. Create New, Joyful Experiences Together

Making new memories together can certainly help you move through a difficult season in your relationship. Set aside more time for one another, even if there’s only a little bit of flexibility in your schedules. If you can, schedule more date nights and experiences that will give you the one-on-one time you need to start repairing your marriage.

Focus on finding activities and outings that are fun and lighthearted. Watch some of your favorite movies on date nights in, or take a trip to your favorite local park or attraction. Whatever you decide to do, share your ideas with one another and emphasize creating a joyful experience.

Need a Little Extra Guidance?

Looking for resources to get your marriage onto a healthier path? Our book, Healthy Me, Healthy Us, is a great guidebook that walks you through some of the most important steps you can take to become healthier individuals. After all, your marriage is only as healthy as you are! You can find your copy here.

Have you (or your spouse) experienced an unhappy season in your marriage? How did you heal your relationship and move forward? Let us know in the comments.