Most married couples will experience challenges to their intimacy from time to time. Whether difficult circumstances or busy routines are putting a damper on your alone time, it’s common to have ebbs and flows in your sex life. The key to overcoming intimacy challenges is to intentionally spend time getting closer.
Want to reignite your sex life with your spouse for more intimacy and fun? In this post, we’ll explore a few ways you can do just that. Let’s dive right in.
1. Do an intimacy check-in with your spouse.
Occasionally, have a check-in with your spouse to gauge both of your feelings about your sex life. Communication is key to enhancing intimacy in marriage. Consider asking the following questions of yourselves over the course of conversation:
- Are both of your needs being met in the bedroom?
- What adjustments can you make to ensure your needs are being met? Is there a consensus you can reach together?
- What can you do to make sex more satisfying for one another?
- Are there obstacles to intimacy you can easily work together to remove?
A satisfying marital sex life is a two-way street. It takes both spouses working together to create intimacy and closeness. Especially if you have babies or young children in the home, you’ll need to act as true partners in order to make time and energy for intimacy. If one spouse is depending on the other to meet their intimacy needs but the other is overworked or overwhelmed, intimacy will continue to suffer.
2. Make and exchange intimacy wish lists.
Telling each other what you like and want in the bedroom is a great step toward making it happen. Write down and exchange intimacy wish lists so you each have a point of reference for the things your spouse desires. If you’ve been married for a while, you may believe you don’t need to check in on intimacy needs. However, many of us struggle against daily obligations and time constraints, which can cause us to lose touch with the intimate side of ourselves. Making a list is a great way to reconnect with each other and ourselves in the process.
3. Focus on gratitude, joy, and fun in the bedroom.
When you’re grateful for one another and the intimate time you share, it becomes easier to drop your guard and have fun. Sex doesn’t have to be all seriousness, all the time. It can be part of the play you engage in together.
Don’t let the bedroom become a place of self-consciousness and pressure. And if it has, don’t worry; you can take back control of your intimate space. Work together to stay focused on gratitude, joy, and fun in the bedroom. When you cultivate all three, you open the door for more vulnerability, which deepens intimacy.
Take a deeper dive into your marriage with the Better Love Assessment.
Did you know that a relationship assessment can help to deepen intimacy by helping you and your spouse get to know each other better? Our Better Love Assessment is designed specifically for married couples. Whether you’ve been together for one year or for decades, Better Love can help you and your spouse take your relationship to the next level. Take the assessment here.
Have you and your spouse faced challenges to your intimacy? How did you overcome them? We’d love to hear your stories in the comments.
My husband is no longer interested in sex with me . He will go to the bathroom a take care of himself. Or he will asl me to go down on him without taking the time to reciprocate the same. When he’s done he’s done . He never used to.be like that but he is now .
Don’t give up. He may have a porn addiction where he needs to get help.
No guilt or shaming. You have to ask him sincerely–does he want to try a get it going again? Keep open minds. Start with no preconceptions.
Getting together may just entail lying close and talking. Light touch. No expectations except that you made the appointment and it was safe. No disappointment after.
Rinse and repeat.
You have to get used to being emotionally close and well as close in proximity.
Pray together.
Good luck.